The Runner Up Is...

I went to a casting workshop a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to it as this casting director casts some big shows. These workshops are great b/c you get yourself in front of a CD and can often get called in to audition. It is a class of actors, the CD comes in gives us a scene and we get about 15 minutes to work on it before we have to put it up in front of the class.
Once you put your scene up the CD will usually give you an adjustment or a couple comments and then you sit and watch the other actors. However, this casting director told us he is going to assign the same scene to groups of people and then the class will talk about how each actor did and decide who would get the part.
Lovely. I am instantaneously flung back into the mental state of my 7th grade self. Which, if you were to have had the opportunity to glimpse in, you would have noticed it was an ugly mess. Come on, Kate pull yourself together. I decided right away to get a grip, I am a good actor and just needed to focus on my scene and all will go swimmingly. I went outside and worked on my character, which was a 17-year-old girl, (though that is neither here nor there) and was ready to wow the crowd.
Now let me just say, that the girl who went before me was a pretty, petite girl with long flowing red hair and sparkly blues eyes. The girl who went after me was South African and probably a model. We all do our scene and then the casting director asks the class what they thought. One guy says he thought the 3rd girl had a lot of energy. And she did, as I did get to see her scene. But then the casting director asks this “well who’s face do you remember the most?” What?!?! Why would you ask that question when we are supposed to be focusing on the acting? I sat there and listened to each person say the 3rd girl, the South African model-looking bitch (fine, I am sure she is a nice person). The casting director agrees and says “there is something about her milky white skin and almond shaped eyes that really draws you in.” Then he says “but there is also something about the 1st girl and her red hair that really stands out.” Waiting. Waiting. I am sure something pretty about me is coming next………… “Ok on to the next scene.”

Now most of you who have known me must often think – “this is an ironic career choice for Kate”. And yes I have often wondered that too, given that I spent most of my formative years 5ft 9, 90lbs soaking wet with a perm and braces. Pretty as a picture. So I will take a brief moment to defend my choice of careers. As a kid I had always dreamed of being someone else, looking like someone else. I used to try and take on other people’s characteristics. Usually to no avail, like the time I tried to have a smile like Farrah Fawcett. Big and toothy. Lets be honest, not everyone can or should pull that off and that became quite evident when I opened my 6th grade yearbook, dying to see how amazing I was going to look with my new shiny smile, instead saw a psychotic loon staring back at me. It still gives me nightmares knowing that that picture is out there. Or the time in elementary school when I watched a girl cry b/c she got a bouncy ball smashed into her eye. She looked so pretty and angelic as her bottom lip curled under while tears streamed down her face. I too wanted to look like an angel crying! However, it is not easy to remember a new cry once you are crying so what I would do is catch myself mid-cry and then curl my bottom lip. I had more than a few people ask me what was wrong with my face.
Despite those and many other missteps in my character transformations, I didn’t stop or want to stop. Acting allows you to be someone else, something that everyone has wanted to do at some time or another. And yet, here was this casting director doing IT to me again at thirty blah blah years old, talking about how pretty the other girl is. There is a difference this time around though, a big one. During my years of feeling like an outcast I developed a gift, a great gift, one that I will be eternally grateful for. A sense of humor. And a pretty great one at that. Now I may not have vibrant red hair, or the ability to hypnotize people with my fancy South African accent, but I will make you laugh. And I don’t have to be the pretty girl, I will play the weird girl, b/c I have learned that they are the most interesting anyways.