Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Ask and You Shall Receive...almost

When we last left off I had asked the universe for something. I wasn't sure what exactly, just something. Then I went away to let the universe do its thing while I spent time with my beyond gorgeous nephew. When I came back to LA I hit the ground running. I immediately had 2 weeks full of auditions. And a variety of auditions at that! I had a couple call backs and booked a job. I was so excited. Who knew that all it took was for me asking the universe for what I wanted.

However, as wonderful as this all sounds it soon became clear that I was not going to get these gifts without a couple digs sprinkled in just to remind me that I did not have the upper hand when it came to my career. The first jab came in the form of crazy people. I was sitting in the waiting room at an audition for a music video looking around at the other "actors". Now I put "actors" in quotations b/c I cannot be sure a majority of these people have ever acted in their life. They looked as if they were walking down the street, saw an open door and decided to just come on in. I was the only one with a head-shot and resume that I know for sure. As I discreetly looked around at the variety of people sitting with me I happened to glance at the lady directly to my left. I am ashamed to say that I did one of the more obvious double takes I have ever taken. This is due to the fact that her wig was on crooked and the underside netting was sticking out of her temple. Almost to her eyebrow. Also, as she filled out her size card she simply replied, Barbara, to every question.
"What is your cell phone?" Barbara.
"What is your shoe size?" Barbara.
"Would you be willing to be an extra?" Barbara.

Since she looked like she was maybe in her late 70's I had to give her some slack. But the woman who went in before me I could not. As we were standing in line she held up her extra shirt that was on a hanger and proceeded to tell me that it had an eating disorder (the shirt on the hanger), but it was still pretty. She also told me she liked to dance but dancing is not as fun as it used to be b/c back in the day she took her clothes off. "There was nothing like rolling down your stockings." But these days dancing was not as much fun b/c she had to wear so many layers b/c she always ended up taking her clothes off. "Well," I said, "old habits die hard."
Now I am not sure what is more upsetting to me, that my manager thought of the 2 auditions he has gotten me, this is my niche? Or that I didn't even book the job! It probably went to Barbara!

The second dig was a real jab to my ego. Even more than the fact that my manager clearly thinks my acting capabilities equal that of an anorexic hanging shirt. My commercial agent emailed me an audition that read this: A BIT PALE AND NOT YET ADJUSTED TO THE ISLAND SUN. NOT BEACH BODIES BUT NOT A SLOB. What the hell? I mean this wouldn't have been so bad had it been an audition for Twilight or Vampire Diaries or any of the million other vampire shows out there. But no, this was for TGI Fridays! I was truly insulted. It took all of my strength not to walk into that audition screaming "But I DO work-out. I have a beach body I am sure of it." I am not really sure of it, but still, come on! being called somewhere between not a beach body and a slob?!?!? That one really hurt.

I guess in the end though I should be grateful to the universe for answering my prayers. All in all it was a nice little gift to come home to and I just realized that you win some and you lose some. And when it came to the TGI Friday commercial I like to think that I won even though I didn't book it. Because I am pretty sure the reason the job went to some one else is because of my olive complexion and I would look too good in a bikini.