Tis the Season

Winter is upon us again. It snowed in Boston; it is raining in Los Angeles. It is cold and cozy and everyone is bundled up. And it is wreaking havoc on my skin. I hate winter skin. It is dry, pasty and makes for an all around unattractive picture. It would be one thing if I had the snowy white skin of Dita Von Teese or the alluring alabaster look of Nicole Kidman. But I don’t. I mean, I might as well be walking around under the world’s largest magnifying glass because this weather just throws any flaw right out there for the world to see. Now, I understand that due to the chill in the air I am mostly covered up when I am out in public. However, I know what is underneath those layers and it does not look good. Plus, no matter how many pieces of clothes I throw on myself, my face is still exposed. I swear summer duped me into thinking I had only a few wrinkles. These days when I look into the mirror I get lost in the maze etched on my face!

Plus, it takes so long to get ready during these months. My shower is filled with scrubs and oils and lotions. Use this once a week. Use this mask twice a week. My days are filled with lathering and scrubbing. It is exhausting. I seriously think I need a separate calendar just for my skin care routine.

It is during this time of year that my vanity is caught in a civil war between needing to be tan and not wanting wrinkles from too much sun. Oh yeah, I guess not wanting skin cancer as well. (If I am being honest though, that really doesn’t come into play. It is more the wrinkly, leathery skin that worries me.) I do not believe in winter tans. I find people who walk around in January with unnaturally brown skin look out of place and foolish. I don’t care if you were just in Jamaica, that is no excuse for having forced color on your face. And spray tans aren’t great either. Getting a light once-over by the sprayer can provide you with a nice glow. But I cannot afford to pay to have that done every week for 4-5 months. And one always runs the risk of going too far and looking orange which is worse than having a real tan in the winter.

So here I am, stuck with this crackly skin and no solution. I welcome any suggestions or tricks that would enable me to look more like Snow White this winter rather than a molting, albino alligator. Until then, I will just keep dousing myself with oils and creams and send out a public warning to avert your eyes, don’t look into the bright white light when hanging out with me or you may go blind!