Happiness

My mom told me that my brother wanted me to at least once write about something happy. Upon hearing that I was confused as I thought all my stories ultimately had a happy ending. However, it is apparent that he wanted something more specific.

What makes me happy is being surrounded by crappy people. Let me explain. I started a new class this week, an Improv class. To say I was nervous was barely even scratching the surface. Normally when starting a new class I have a tiny bit of anxiety but it quickly passes as I am pretty confident in my acting and am usually sure I will be at the very least, in the middle of the pack, if not one of the better actors. This, however, is a totally different ball of wax. I am not all that confident in my improvisational skills.

As the day of the class loomed near I started to wonder if Karma had caught up with me. I say that b/c I am the first one to judge some one's bad improv or comedic chops. I consider myself a comedic aficionado - when it comes to other people's work that is. If I had lived during theater tomato throwing times I would have been in the front row with my satchel full of juicy ripe tomatoes ready to throw at a moments notice.

In talking with a good friend who is already in the class and who I consider to have amazing improvisational skills (remember aficionado) I was telling her how nervous I was. As she was trying to calm my nerves I said, "I just need there to be some bad actors in the group. As long as there are some crappy people around me I will feel better." As sad as that may be, it is the truth! The more crappy people I have around me the better I feel. Instead of just being secure within my own self or sure of my own capabilities I want to see the demise of someone else and then I will gain some confidence. The worse part is that I should feel guilty about that and I don't. I also, should want to be surrounded by talented people who will bring out the best in me, but I don't want that either. To me the perfect setting would be a mixture of talented people and crappy people.

The day of the class came and I woke up with a cold. Great, how was I supposed to improvise with a cloudy head? Bloody Karma!! As I drove to class I began to freak out more and more so by the time class started I was seriously going to shit my pants. This was the worse thing I could have done is subject myself to this torture. Especially when one of the games was to mimic the person to your right and then transform their character a little bit so the person to your left could mimic you. This was so horrifying to me that I turned my classmates hoity toity character into a crying pitiful girl and there was no part of me acting.

But as the night went on the tides began to turn. as I watched pairs of actors go through their scenes I realized that some were really good but a few were really bad. I know I would be better than them! Karma was on my side. This is exactly what I wanted and I got it. Some talent with a side of crap! And that is what makes me happy!