I haven't written in a long time and I have even had people ask me when I am doing another blog, which to me, is such an amazing compliment. However, no matter how much I stretched my thoughts to come up with an interesting topic to write about, my head was instead filled with the deafening sound of emptiness. At first I felt frustrated by this as each day for a month or so I would stare blankly at the computer screen with nothing witty or smart coming out. How can this be? I am the world's biggest complainer/brat/emotional disaster and I have nothing to say?
Then I had a revelation. No, it was not my life must be perfect or I must be in a really lovely place. Actually, it was a truly pathetic epiphany. I have nothing to write about because I have nothing to write about. Translation, my life is a dead zone. I have not had any auditions in as long as I can remember. I have no job opportunity coming my way. And it seems as though my wrinkles have slowed down their deepening process. Now it may seem strange that I am complaining about no extra wrinkles but I am not. I am just demonstrating how dull things have gotten around here.
A few months ago I got a new manager and I thought ok this is it. Things are really going to pick up for me and I am pretty sure I will be in movies soon. However, the opposite happened and I have auditioned even less then when I was all alone in the abyss of the entertainment industry. I am not in movies, I am not auditioning for movies, I am not even seeing movies because there is nothing in the theater.
Never before in my life have I wished for an audition that goes awry or for some one to mistake me for their son's teenage friends mom or be asked to sing impromptu during an audition. Anything, I will take anything other than this black hole I am living in these days. So I am asking you, universe, to shake things up for me. I will give you a week. I go out of town in a couple days and while I am away please do serious thinking and come up with something that you can throw my way. Something that will jazz up this mundane existence and really get the creative juices flowing. A week! And I would prefer it not come in the form of a gray hair! Thanks!
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Your speaking about nothing, spoke volumes. The best ones always do. Loved it, and adding to your energy toss to the Universe. :D
ReplyDeleteI know one thing, there is a little man here that is just waiting for his aunt's life to be part of his. Her stories, her views of life, her endless supply of love, openess, and understanding of everyone and everything.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when life seems like it is giving you a great big FU. I would suggest you truly look at the smiles of the people around you when they see your face, hear your voice, and just have you in their company. Life doesn't always play the song your looking to hear, just keep changing the channel to you find one that you want to sing to!
wow...i think i love your brother...that is your brother who just wrote the beautiful posting above...? I fancy myself a bit of a detective...the "d'...the reference to your nephew...etc. can't get anything past me. anyway, i also love your blog...a word, ok, a sentence of advice...sometimes uneventful (I prefer that word to "dull") is ok...my life is kind of eventful right now...unfortunately, with the wrong kind of events. hang in there...something wonderful is just around the bend. why? 'cause you deserve it. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOk I was totally going to write about you but the Mark d. had to come in and steal you silent thunder. I adore that as a new dad he is already using FU. I teared up at the amazing things he said about his sisters and I completely concur. Now, start writing or I am coming over and hosting a fake audition where I make you sing and improvise.
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